Calling it quits

Talk about noise music. Reviews, rants, whatever.

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FireAlarmPoet
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Calling it quits

Post by FireAlarmPoet » Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:56 am

As I've struggled these past years to establish my own definitive harsh noise sound, within the only methods I can comprehend to achieve that goal, I've come to the conclusion that I simply don't enjoy the process anymore.
Starting in 2015, I casually recorded hours' and eventually days' worth of material, believing that later I would whittle it all down into something spectacular with the same amount of ease: that didn't happen.
While this method did eventually yield my album Sensitive to Textures, which I'll elaborate on later, it was absolute fucking hell.
And yet more raw material amassed during and after the production of the album proper, further raising my standards and raising the bar I set for myself further out of reach.
If I continue this way, the finish line will have no end.

I've spent more time now trying, in vain, to educate myself on plugins and improve my post-production skills than I have actually making noise or learning about my own creative process; It's become so intimidating that most days I'm just too tired to bother with any of it.
I have a hard time learning anything through reading unless it's intrinsically interesting to me, so even when I get myself focused to research these things I just hit this insurmountable wall of information that only further irritates me.
It's like studying for a test, and that's simply no fun at all.

While I consider Sensitive to Textures to be obviously flawed from a technical perspective, I accept its the best I could do at the time: really, this translates into the most I could tolerate at the time. More importantly, I said pretty much everything I wanted to say with Sensitive to Textures: all the more appropriate to end on a high note.

I put my all into Sensitive to Textures, and for my effort I received at best a lukewarm response. I sunk hundreds of dollars into printing copies of the album with plans to do shows to promote it: no shows happened and to this day I have only ever made one legitimate sale. There's no way I will ever recoup the losses sustained from my initial investment; hell, I already destroyed half the unsold copies because they simply took up too much space.

For me, it's beyond a shadow of a doubt: unless you're a big name or otherwise have something where high demand for it already exists, putting out noise CDs, tapes, etc. is always going to be a pointless, losing endeavor. Even if not done for profit, if done instead for exposure and feedback, for every one thing someone might listen to, this only generates thousands more pounds of plastic garbage no one will ever listen to. Don't even get me started on the digital garbage. Why should I go out of my way to waste this much time, money and material on something so ultimately unrewarding ever again?

I may still do the odd compilation track or collaboration; currently I plan to sell off parts of my collection and may even go back to working on circuit bent instruments in the future. Otherwise, it's about time that I move on; I've been trying to "move on" from lots of things for years, and I thought I did that with Sensitive to Textures, but clearly there is still much more work yet to be done that I can't do by sitting in my underwear staring at a blank screen all day.

Thank you all for reading this far, and thanks to everyone who has helped me or engaged me along the way. Part of what I like about noise is the community, despite how little I may have actually participated in it, or how caustic it can be at times. I still hold the letters and trinkets some of you have sent me over the years as warm reminders of the best part of doing this.

-CR

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Low Life High Volume
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by Low Life High Volume » Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:22 am

FireAlarmPoet wrote:
Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:56 am
hell, I already destroyed half the unsold copies because they simply took up too much space.
what the fuck :o

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melkobukva
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by melkobukva » Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:46 am

FireAlarmPoet wrote:
Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:56 am
Why should I go out of my way to waste this much time, money and material on something so ultimately unrewarding ever again?
Because the process is the reward.

If it isn't, you shouldn't.

Sensitive to Textures is a pretty nice ambient album, btw.

But yeah, if you're not famous, nobody will listen to your stuff, and if nobody listens to your stuff, you can't become famous. Has been this way since the recording industry came to be.

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jliat
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by jliat » Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:47 am

I could write quite a bit about your post. In the main you are right. One problem is that with the emancipation of the means of production any music 'scene' is now swamped with material. Simply put there is more material spewed out than can be taken in.

Its an irony that you make anyone and everyone capable of producing Cdrs and digital, which at first sight seems a good thing, actually has a down side.

But my point is that this has caused a change to the Artist / Audience model, no more so than in noise. There is a book by Jacques Attali (an economist who advised President Mitterrand!) called “Noise – The political Economy of Music” In which he argues that music is the precursor of what occurs generally later in society. His point I want to make is after the periods of “Representing”
(Classical musical performance) and Repeating – recording.. he sees a change to Composing – HERE IS THE POINT... he states

“A music produced by each individual for himself, for pleasure outside of meaning, usage and exchange”


I would go further and say that it might be even produced and not recorded to be listened to again by anyone.

But I also agree with your idea of making noise / musical devices – as does Attali here are some more quotes (he wrote this in the late 1970s)

“there is glaring evidence that the end of aesthetic codes is at hand”

“Inducing people to compose using predefined instruments cannot lead to a mode of production different from that authorized by those instruments...”

“The new instrument thus emerging will find its real usage only in the production, by the consumer himself, … and will derive at least as much of his satisfaction from the manufacturing process itself as from the object it produces. “

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Fletcher
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by Fletcher » Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:21 pm

If you are not or have not enjoyed the process, then you totally should quit. Find something you enjoy and do that instead, life is too short.

I make zines because I enjoy the creative process and the research elements. So I make any money? Hell no. Ill be very lucky to break even on the latest issue and I would call that a major success.

I've started making music again after a 10 year break because I am doing something completely different. So far it is enjoyable to be free of the constraints of a mainstream genre and it's weighty expectations.
www.snarerush.co.uk
An electronic music zine in occasional print format

killing raven sun
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by killing raven sun » Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:51 pm

FireAlarmPoet wrote:
Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:56 am
For me, it's beyond a shadow of a doubt: unless you're a big name or otherwise have something where high demand for it already exists, putting out noise CDs, tapes, etc. is always going to be a pointless, losing endeavor.
you never made those sandwhiches did you?
FireAlarmPoet wrote:
Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:56 am
Even if not done for profit, if done instead for exposure and feedback, for every one thing someone might listen to, this only generates thousands more pounds of plastic garbage no one will ever listen to.
just because that bible sits forever unread in the nightstand drawer while innumerable whores ply their trade on the nearby mattress it does not diminish the publishers pride in distributing the lords word to whoever will hear it
jliat wrote:
Sun Aug 12, 2018 11:24 pm
Look - i dont actually care, So i cant do the reading because i wont understand it.

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WhiteWarlock
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by WhiteWarlock » Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:13 pm

experiment
try some new techniques
build some new devices
find ways for increasing productive workflow
come up with ways of being creative that gives you personal satisfaction
it's not like it was in the 80s/90s anymore
exponential rate of population growth & technology has changed the game
keep yourself entertained somehow with creative process
switch some gears
get new perspectives
new influences
evolve your sound style skills & yourself
you can even try some spoken word/poetry/screaming with background soundtracks
that can be good way for venting frustrations
plus you can also penetrate listeners psyche more easily
noise is extremely hard getting "spirit sticking to tape" as used to say
if you hit wall find way over around or through
try not caring what "other people/critics think"
you will increase longevity

when it becomes agonizing drudgery then you obviously need making some changes
start with introspection
if anyone told you it was going to be easy then they lied

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¼ dead
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by ¼ dead » Sun Jul 15, 2018 9:50 am

FAP, you need a noisefriend. Someone should make a gross hookup-style app for people who just want to meet up to make harsh noise together. NOISR, or something.

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Fletcher
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by Fletcher » Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:54 am

I would make use of an app to hook up with noise bitches
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An electronic music zine in occasional print format

FireAlarmPoet
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by FireAlarmPoet » Sun Jul 15, 2018 12:05 pm

LOL that would be kinda dope. Thing is, I do have a friend in 10564, though without getting into too much speculation about her private life, I think she has too much on her plate at the moment. I'd also like to think I'm on good term with a few other artists in Madison and Milwaukee, even if the former is pretty dead, but that's not really the point: I just don't enjoy this anymore, at least the editing part of it. I don't have anything 'better to do, which is part of the problem; I've been searching for things that stimulate me, preferably social activities, for years now with lukewarm success. Noise is basically a conversation piece for me on a practical level. In private, it just drags me down and makes me feel like a sedentary piece of shit.

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WhiteWarlock
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by WhiteWarlock » Sun Jul 15, 2018 12:10 pm

Image
start an extreme noise/polka band for beerfests in Wisconsin...
HNW w/ musique concrete heavily manipulated mutated desecrated Heino covers... of covers
make hot noise girl signer in beer maid costume for screaming Heino songs
while throwing pitchers of beer of audience
dress up in leather lederhosen or fishing waders
pull fish out of her pants for throwing at audience
you will be instantly famous/infamous with drunks in wisconsin
has that already been done???
video playing song in Au Claire first for promo:
Image
then the giant Muskie in Hayward
Image
Image

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melkobukva
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by melkobukva » Sun Jul 15, 2018 1:43 pm

FireAlarmPoet wrote:
Sun Jul 15, 2018 12:05 pm
I just don't enjoy this anymore, at least the editing part of it.
Too much perfectionism takes the fun out of everything.
Learned this the hard way :wall:

Image

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Claud601
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by Claud601 » Sun Jul 15, 2018 1:50 pm

Lol at trying to succeed in noise

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¼ dead
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by ¼ dead » Sun Jul 15, 2018 2:23 pm

Yo, fapples, I'm drunk, and so I find it hard to make really well-thought, meaningful statements, but is there anything you do enjoy about the "noise-making process"? Anything at all?

Really think about it. And let me know what, if anything, makes you happy in doing this. Like, rate them. I'm curious to know.

And once you find the answer to what you like about any of this, forget everything else, and only focus on the things you enjoy. Even if you record nothing, if you like the tinkering aspec tof things, focus on that. Come up with fresh ideas/experiments/challenges. I dunno.

PS: If you want a noiseboyfriend, we can noisedate. Nothing weird. Just to have someone to keep the other accountable. We can set noisechallenges for one another. Accountability buddies. Keep things exciting.

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¼ dead
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Re: Calling it quits

Post by ¼ dead » Sun Jul 15, 2018 3:15 pm

btw, "I make noise" is worthless in 99.999999% of conversations. Just take that as a given, and don't bother if you can avoid it. No one knows what I mean when I say "I make noise", and no normal, well-adjusted individuals think it makes me any more interesting/worth getting to know better, either. I just tell people I'm into sound design/foley, which is essentially true, because I understand how it feels at times pointless to indulge "useless", inane hobby-fetishes like "making noise" with no greater context for it. I have long wanted to have "practical, real-world applications" for it: A career that enables me to justify aimless noise-wankery on the side, because it'd be relevant to my career, and it would mean "doing what I love for a living". And while it may never happen, largely because I don't seem to be self-motivated enough, I keep the hope alive, if only in daydreams.

Get with Tim. He likes to animate(?!). Maybe y'all can do something collaborative... "FOLEY BY CR".

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